Accepting the Gift

This will be the closing piece on Imposter Syndrome, focusing on how I accepted it and integrated it, and then closing the loop.

Gratitude

Developing a practice of gratitude.  I did not do this by journaling, although some people might try that approach.  My approach is more through meditation and prayer, to reflect on the things both good as well as seemingly negative and finding a way to be grateful.  This helps to rewire one’s outlook from a negative perspective to a more positive outlook.

Acknowledge the Wins

Similar to being grateful, take the time to reflect on the wins you have been able to generate.  Again, this is about rewiring to see things more positively and reduce self doubt.

Self Care

In Jordan Peterson’s 12 rules for life, #2 is “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping”.  This is a big shift in mind set.  An insidious path to ‘burn out’ lies in the sacrifice of the small things that contribute to taking care of yourself day after day, week after week… Things that can help are regular gardening, reading for pleasure, enjoyable endeavours that are often sacrificed, all for the sake of seeking higher productivity and achievement.

A valuable exercise to help reset or remind yourself is the vision board.  The scope of a vision board can be tailored to suit your needs beyond just self care.  In the case of an Imposter having a vision board focussed on self care is really valuable.  I have a template set of instructions for how to do this.  If you want a copy, reach out and I will be happy to share it with you.

Audit

This was the one that really put the beast away.  There were two steps:

1.        I did a mind map of where the sources of fear were that led to self doubt, a drive for achievement, and to a willingness to sacrifice self care.

2.        I did a kind of audit and made a list of the meaningful successes and failures I had in life.

3.        I gave myself time to think on the results of 1 and 2.

This was an interesting experience, and I had a physical reaction to it, as though a weight was lifted.

Most of the other things that literature indicates are helpful seem to me like general well-being stuff that everyone ought to be doing anyways…eating a healthy diet, limiting alcohol, getting regular exercise, being socially active, having effective prioritization.  These are things that I’ve always done, and maybe part of why Imposter Syndrome took a long time to manifest negatively for me.

A last one I am not directly familiar with that literature indicates is effective is cognitive behavioural therapy.  From what I’ve read about it, the things I referred to above that worked for me probably fall into that category, and I ‘self-therapied’.

I want to close out this series where we started.  So, back to The Lord of the Rings:  Gollum is not exactly Frodo’s nemesis, but what Frodo may become.  In some ways Gollum is The Imposter: skulking in the dark, afraid to be in the light, torn about being a servant, consumed with fear of loss…. all leading to his destruction.  However, at the end of the day, without Gollum, Frodo could never have completed his journey to destroy the ring.

Another part of the books that is completely missing from the movie and a major plot divergence is the next to final chapter.  Saruman is not thrown from his tower as in the second movie installment; rather he escapes with Grima and goes on to take over Frodo’s homeland, the Shire.  The hobbits return to the Shire in the penultimate chapter “The Scouring of the Shire” to find the hobbits enslaved and Saruman rebuilding a new empire.   They are without help from any of their non-hobbit powerful friends from the fellowship. Frodo led, with help from Sam, Merry and Pippin the liberation of the Shire.  Frodo is free of the Imposter Syndrome and capable of greatness that he would not have achieved without having undergone the journey and destruction of the Ring.   This transformed and integrated Frodo developed the skills and strength to lead the liberation the Shire.  Having served in liberating the Shire, Frodo steps back to enable the hobbits to return to governing themselves.

(This is a photo I took of Alan Lee’s artwork from my copy of Lord of the Rings. It depicts the hobbits returning to the shire seeing the destruction wrought by Saruman)

Imposter Syndrome can indeed be a gift.  Going through the process of achievement and integrating it in a constructive way makes one stronger than one would be than if they had never experienced Imposter Syndrome.  In my estimation, the Gollum of the Imposter in us, will continue to lurk around the corner, and I think the continued practice of gratitude, celebrating the small wins, and self care are all needed to keep things in balance.

If you have dealt with Imposter Syndrome successfully in yourself or in helping others I would love to hear about it.

I hope this exploration of Imposter Syndrome proves to be helpful to you and your practice of leadership in understanding the imposter-gifted around you.