GROUNDED SERVICE
A blog for all the reluctant leaders who know what needs to get done, step up to shoulder their responsibility, and make a difference
3 cont: Leading By Example 2
Be Available(but not too much)
Don’t Micromanage and No Stupid Rules
Always be Teaching and Learning
Contemporaneous Error Correction
Empathetically Listen
Be Grateful Publicly
3.1.4 Be Available (but not too much!) and Pay Attention to Interfaces
In general, the more responsibility that you have for overall organizational performance the less predictable your day becomes as issues and opportunities arise that demand your attention. If you start from a schedule that is nearly full, a few negative things result:
You have limited your time available for rest and reflection
You are virtually inaccessible when people need to consult with you about an urgent matter with no notice
Even when accessed, time stress erodes your presence
The solution is simple:
1. Put first things first (Covey’s 3rd habit) and don’t overschedule
2. Schedule in blocks of time to do work
3. Be available to the people supporting you
Everyone will have some time-of-day where you will be most productive on deep work that requires a flow state, understand your own rhythm, and this is time that you should seek to protect and not allow it to be “confetti’ed” with interruptions. The amount of work you will get done in this time will then allow you to move on to other interactions that only need shorter bursts of time.
What being available also communicates to the people you are supporting is that they matter to you; that you respect them enough to make time for them. They know you are busy and you still make time for them.
All this said it is counter-productive to be too available. People will abuse this, taking your time for granted, checking in on things they don’t need to. Make sure that they know the limits of their authority, and that they are clear to operate right up to those limits without your permission and that they only really need to check in when operating beyond the limits of their authority or where they are uncertain. So be available, but not too much. As in most things there is a balancing act. A way of introducing intentional friction to make yourself a little less available is to instruct your people to do a little process before coming to you with a question: they should first ask themselves what are two questions that you will ask them. This will make them better prepared when they do come to you with a question and your time will be better utilized.
An axiomatic truth is:
“Interfaces are sources of friction”
In the physical world friction results in a dissipation of energy as useless heat that further energy is used to manage. For young leaders starting out in project management the project interfaces are places for extra attention as likely places for crises to form. Effectively managing these interfaces reduces the risk of crisis. In the leading of an organization with multiple business units, sometimes with hard silos, it is the leader to which these units report to ensure that there is no more than the desired amount of friction in place. Lack of lateral communication across an organization can be deadly, while if there is the right amount of lateral communication possible crises can be anticipated, identified and eliminated before they happen. In an empowered team with decentralized authority this will happen without the leader’s direct involvement. Process ownership as discussed in section 2.2.1 can help to reduce this friction.
Part of being available is also not having too many direct reports. While it is desirable to keep an organization as flat as possible there is a limiting number of high quality relationships a single person can maintain. In a professional workplace it is probably in the range of 5-10 direct reports depending on the type of work environment and level of intimacy needed. Maintaining these relationships is harder in a work from home / remote work or hybrid work environment and the number of reports in this type of scenario is at the lower end of the range. Another view on this could be the strength of the work culture that plays into the number of direct reports that is sustainable. In a strong and established culture a higher number of reports will be possible, while in a weak culture, or in a scenario where a major change to culture is underway the number of direct reports may be lower for some period of time.
A great tactic for being available is managing by walking around. In the face to face environment talking with people who are not your direct reports about what they are working on, even asking them “how does what you are working on fit into our strategic plan?” can help gauge engagement, how well the plan is being communicated, a whole host of non-verbal things IF you are paying attention and being PRESENT.
In section 2.2.1 Process Ownership is discussed, and another key strategy for the leader in a rapidly growing small or medium sized organization towards improving availability is delegating process ownership. This is how I managed to keep it together. Process Ownership allows for the compartmentalization and delegation of responsibilities, opportunities for others to grow and for you to free up more time.
3.1.5 Don’t Micromanage and No Stupid Rules
This is really simple. Micromanaging people who are high performers demoralizes them. It is the opposite of autonomy discussed above. They feel disrespected that you think they are so stupid that this level of direction is required. I learned this lesson from a co-op student early in my supervisory career. I had given highly detailed markups on a prepared document and he was kind enough (actually frustrated enough) to share with me that he did not need that level of detail to revise the document to what would be acceptable and found the detailed feedback to be insulting. I was grateful for the feedback and adjusted accordingly improving our working relationship. He went on to have a great co-op internship with us. If you are getting the right high performers on the bus they should not need to be micro managed.
Making rules that can not be followed or are stupid is incredibly corrosive to mutual respect in the organization. The leader and the organization making the rules is respected less. The second level leaders that have to enforce the rules lose respect for you, for themselves and from the people they are leading. The people breaking rules may lose respect of their peers and the leaders. Awful.
A stupid rule that people must break to get their job done pushes people down the path of making rule breaking habitual. This puts people down the path to full corruption.
If you get the right people that are engaged on the bus, in the right seats that understand the leader’s intent, then minimal rules are necessary. A culture is established where people know what the expected results are, the acceptable ways of doing and delegation becomes much easier.
“Make as few rules / policies as possible but as many as necessary.”
A caveat on the above in the case of poor performers: It is a good thing to give people a second chance however, there needs to be a limit. If there is a poor performer on a team, and the leader has authority to decide who is on the team or not constitutes a failure on the part of the leader. In cases of poor performance, the leader should evaluate for a square peg in a round hole situation; it could be the person that is performing poorly is simply in the wrong job. Consider someone who could be great in the kitchen but is stuck out front at the restaurant as a host. Reassignment could be appropriate. A way to evaluate this is for the line manager / leader to get in and for a short period of time and micro-manage, but this needs to be time limited, and the poor performer needs to understand the time limitation to provide them some sense of urgency in performance improvement. If the team member was recruited and onboarded properly this lack of fit problem should not be an issue, but no one is perfect and leaders need to be prepared to deal with this.
Overall, though persistently poor performance should not be tolerated and the poor performer exited after they have been given a chance or two for improvement. Not doing so erodes the level of mutual respect on a team, decreasing energy levels and impairing team performance.
3.1.6 Always Be Teaching and Learning
While this may fall into the overall category of leading by example the concept merits its own section. Every day is filled with opportunities to teach and to learn. If a learning organization is desired, everyone and especially the leaders need to be a part of this. Just because you have attained a leadership role does not mean that your learning has stopped.
When delegating work to a new collaborator there is an efficiency curve where the first few delegations are inefficient, but if done appropriately things get more efficient over time. One of the ways to make this curve steeper is to take full advantage of opportunities for micro teaches/lessons. In a face to face working environment this can be really powerful. Where there are several people available (this needs people not to be overscheduled) more than one person can be brought into the micro-teach. Even if they are not going to apply the lesson immediately, they will now know which of their peers has not only been taught the lesson but put it into application. Then, when they encounter a need to use that skill they don’t need to come to you for the lesson, but will come to their peer instead. The peer will then get a chance to teach and reinforce their knowledge.
In delivery of these micro lessons, there is also an opportunity to test the knowledge of some of the people in the room. If they know part of the concepts being presented, invite them to be put on the spot and get them to explain it the small group. They get a chance to practice public speaking with a friendly audience and by teaching deepen their understanding of the material and the apocryphal quote comes to mind: “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it.”
You get to see if they really know their stuff and if they don’t a gentle correction can be applied. It can be made explicitly clear to people that this is exactly what this is. In our engineering business highly technical design concepts would need to be presented to clients, in essence teaching the sometimes lay-person client about some technical concept. Inexperienced people getting a chance to teach is a great way for them to prepare and practice for taking the stage.
A virtuous set of behaviours can be established here:
The example you are setting for the up and comers to “pay it forward”
You are amplifying and scaling your impact in the sharing of your knowledge by bringing it to others so they can now disseminate the knowledge
Relationship building: this is a gift of your time to these others
Preparing people for real world client interactions they will be faced with
We are living in the age of the podcast. Time in the car or train while commuting is a great opportunity to expand your horizons and there is a cornucopia of podcasts that will help with leadership concepts and can be very entertaining. I have found the Jocko podcast by Jocko Willinck to be both entertaining and transmitting some really valuable insights into not only leadership but the human condition. Find a podcast that engages you and make use of this time.
When you learn something new, not only to you but to others in the organization, “geek out” about it with others. For me this is something that is done with a sense of genuine joy and excitement. This is infectious. It creates the desired resonance, raising energy levels.
Another key aspect of this mindset is as it relates to success and failure. The line from IF comes to mind again:
“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;”
Success and failure both bring learning opportunities. Don’t get too full of yourself for the triumph and don’t let the failure bring you down too much. Learn from what caused both of these and share these lessons with the team so that successes can be repeated and failures avoided.
Another great side effect of continuously learning is that is helps to keep you humble. A great experience for me was when already president of our company in my mid thirties I decided to get back into martial arts with Jiu-Jitsu / MMA. The interest was reignited when I enrolled my 5 year old son. I had some significant prior experience in Judo but it was a great and humbling experience to start again as a beginner getting your butt kicked (well ribs actually). A second way I have stayed humble is to do my own yard work at home. I could afford to hire other people to do it, but getting dirty, digging, doing that laborious work of tending the gardens, cutting the grass, manually weeding (I do the maintenance totally organically), learning and experimenting with different techniques, keeps one grounded. Other people I know get grounded by working in the garage on cars. In these examples when you screw up, you know it…boy do you know it when you get submitted in Jiu-Jitsu! Everyone should find some way to get physically grounded so that you have a solid connection to physical reality to keep maintain your humility.
A last tip on teaching is the use of story telling. Before the written word people passed knowledge and wisdom from one generation to another through an oral tradition of story telling. When lessons are embedded in a memorable story the learner will be more able to retain the knowledge and most importantly the wisdom. Some of the things I consider the most important things I have learned were through teachers telling me their stories. As a teacher get good at story telling and find these stories of others and of your own that you can tell well. As a leader you will probably need to tell these stories in front of groups of people. If you are uncomfortable with public speaking, learn to be better at it; Toastmasters is an organization many people have benefitted from to learn this skill. One of my most useful courses in university was a drama course on public speaking; I came away with a greatly improved ability to speak in front of a group that has benefitted me throughout my career.
3.1.7 Contemporaneous Error Correction
When errors are made corrections must be applied as soon as possible. Parents know this. If a toddler has made some kind of an error, they will not remember the situation an hour later. Adults may be slightly better. Coaching athletics works the same way. In a practice or game if a player is making an error, a coach will often immediately make a correction, or depending on the player and the error wait for a quiet moment ASAP to make the error correction. The style of how the error correction is made is important. It should not be done as a personal attack. “Why did you do that!!!” is counterproductive.
When the error correction is done properly, and the right people are on the bus (ie: not focused on grievance and not ego dominated) the feedback is treated as a gift and improvements are made immediately. The above average coachable player is more valuable than the prima donna; they may not rise to the heights of what the prima donna is capable of, but they are capable of working in a cohesive team and not only getting better themselves but making those around them better.
Failing to correct the error guarantees that it will occur again…and again…and again. Resentment then build. The person making the error may now have gotten into a pattern of doing things a certain way and error correction will become even harder. Nip it in the bud before the “muscle memory” is set, and before you and the rest of the team become resentful and it is harder to do the error correction in an appropriate way.
By taking advantage of the error correcting coachable moments the competency of the individuals in increased, and mutual respect is increased. A virtuous cycle is established if you are doing the error correction well as now a second generation will do the same thing. Lead by example in this regard.
The error correction is not done in a belittling way, and should be framed in your mind and delivery as opportunity for improvement.
3.1.8 Empathetically Listen
Empathetic listening is one of the most important skills in life and especially in leadership. Active listening can be considered a sub-set of empathetically listening.
This is a valuable skill in mentoring and coaching. It is noteworthy that empathy is not the same as sympathy. Empathy is to understand how another person is feeling, understanding the circumstances around their emotional state. Sympathy is feeling the same way as them, presently or in the past and being in agreement with those feelings. Sometimes sympathy is appropriate, but often not.
One of our biggest needs is to simply be heard, especially when we are struggling. In the high performance, high stress environment that often comes with service-based organizations there is a need for people to vent and be heard.
Empathetically listening basics involve:
Listening! If your jaws are flapping your ears aren’t working
Get rid of distractions and be fully present
Yes, this means put the damn cell phone away, preferably in airplane mode or out of the room entirely. Simply having the phone visible as a possible source of interruption is enough to degrade the quality of the interaction. Putting it out of sight signals to the speaker that you are engaged and ready to really listen.
Paraphrase back
Confirm your understanding of what you think you heard by reiterating what you heard in your own words.
Body language
Adopt an engaged and open body position. Do not cross arms or legs. Lean forward slightly
Listen to understand
When listening to the speaker do not listen with the intent to reply. Listen with he intent to understand the perspective of the speaker. Asking “why” questions can come off as judgemental and it is better to ask what, how, when type questions. This will be hard for a lot of engineers as we have been trained in root cause analysis techniques such as 5-whys. It will come with practice.
Empathetic listening skill is foundational to servant leadership and engaging in empathetic listening is done with a mind set of being of service to others, and is key to Covey’s 5th habit: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Empathetically listening to someone communicates that they matter to you and will help to make them feel respected.
That said, you are not a therapist and that is not your job. There is an argument to made that as a society we are “over-therapied”. Life is going to get tough and a lot of time the best thing we can do is to simply put one foot in front of the other, getting on with it and through it. What is your job though, is to be aware of when people are struggling and to be able to factor this in when planning and making assignments. You can make the people who are struggling aware of resources that the organization may be able to bring to bear to help them.
As much as possible don’t solve your peoples’ problems for them. When you solve someone’s problem for them, both the problem and the solution are now yours. Whatever outcomes arise therefore, are also yours. Help them to solve it on their own by asking open ended questions and maybe giving the occasional hint. They will get to a point where they will independently solve their own problems. When they have solved their own problem they will now have more confidence to do so with new problems they have never seen before. This ability is a key part of leading: to face the often frightening unknown with the confidence and courage that you and your team will find a way to solve the problem at hand. Actively listening and helping others develop this problem solving ability is key to developing future leaders.
A close friend and business leader gave me the following metaphor: Someone you are seeking to help has a monkey (or maybe a couple of them) on their back. If you lean in close enough when helping them the monkey will climb onto your back.
3.1.9 Be Grateful Publicly
As mentioned earlier the inward expression of gratitude for the vicissitudes in life is powerful, and so is the external expression of gratitude towards those that have contributed.
Simple genuine public expression of appreciation for a job well done can go a long way. It must be genuine and not for every little thing otherwise it becomes meaningless. You should tailor the expression of gratitude to the person on the receiving end. If the person is more shy, and not driven by a hunger for recognition, and more so by stimulation, then the expression of gratitude for a job well done may come with a promise of more interesting work in the future.
The personal practice of gratitude will help with being able to be genuinely grateful. The personal practice can take the form of meditation and for people of faith, thanking their creator on a daily basis. This personal practice even extends to being grateful for hardships and challenges. The ancients including the stoics knew this.
Public gratitude addresses a hunger: recognition, but be careful for the people who don’t really care that much about it as it could even make them a bit cynical. For those not really craving recognition a little goes an even longer way.
The opposite is also true, for those hungering for recognition a public scolding is positively nauseating. Where constructive criticism is needed it should be done in private.
“Praise in public, scold in private”
Even a group dressing down erodes leadership capital. Is it sometimes called for? Possibly if a group does something truly egregious. Even then, caution is strongly advised. See section 3.1.11 for a more complete discussion of the concept of leadership capital.
Any kind of public scolding will be corrosive to respect and engagement and burns leadership capital.